Okage Shadow King: Sigher Breath
by Aria41
Summary: Okage-ness. 4 chapters so far and more is coming.
1. A chapter with a longass title

Chapter 1: **A** **Sigh, Supper, Sour milk, a Slip on the Stairs, a Swing of a Sword, a Spell, a Slap, a Storm, and a…Stalker?**

Ari was home, sitting at the dinner table, shoving the food on his plate around with his fork. He stared at it, trying to figure out what it was. It looked like ground beef smothered with overcooked slices of onion. His mother, sister, and Marlene sat around the table watching him, impatiently waiting for him to take the first bite.

He stabbed the meat with his fork and reluctantly started to pull it up to his mouth. His hand was shaking, and the hard, sticky, mystery meat slowly crept up to his lips. He took a deep breath and pulled the so-called food off the fork with his teeth. He only chewed it once or twice before swallowing and forcing it down his throat. It was rough going down and didn't taste like any kind of meet he'd had before. He didn't want to ever have it ever again, ever.

He grabbed his glass of milk and drank half of it in one gulp to get the dry bitter taste out of his mouth, but then he spit the milk out on the floor. It was sour.

"Stupid sister," he thought. "The one time SHE goes to town and buys the groceries, she gets soar milk, and just when I need it most." He sighed, again.

His mother asked him, "Is there something wrong, Ari?" Ari didn't answer. Instead, he got up and walked to the basement.

As he was walking down the stairs, he tripped over something and landed on his ass with a thud. He heard whatever it was that he tripped on bounce down the steps, but he couldn't see what it was by the light that leaked through from under the door. He pulled himself up and thought he saw something moving out of the corner of his eye. He flicked the light switch, the lights came on, and he looked around, but all he saw was a lit flashlight in the middle of the room that barley gave off enough light to cast a shadow. When he looked down at the steps, he saw Stan's bottle. Someone had placed it in the middle of the staircase for him to trip on.

"…Annie" he thought. "It had to be her. She got the soar milk on purpose, and she knew I'd be the one to down stairs and get a towel to clean it up…brat" He sighed, again.

He walked down the rest of the steps, grabbed the bottle, and placed it on a shelf. Then he turned around and stepped into the middle of the room. He bent down, turned the flashlight off, and stuffed it in a draw. Ari bent down again to open a lower draw and get a towel, which is what he came into the basement to do in the first place, but little did Ari know, someone was watching him _very_ closely each time he bent over.

The pinkish-purple bottle fell from the shelf above him and hit him in the head. "Ow!" he cried. He thought he heard a faint laugh, but he took a glance around and there was no one there. He looked down at the bottle and kicked it as hard as he could. "Ouch!" Kicking the bottle barefoot wasn't such a smart move. His head and right toes were throbbing. "Stupid bottle," he thought. "Stupid Annie, stupid Stan."

Ari put the bottle down on the dresser and took the towel. He slammed the draw closed, and the bottle fell on his sore foot. "Ugh!" He grabbed his sword and swung it at the bottle wildly with all of his strength, but the bottle was protected by a spell, and the sword bounced back even harder then it was swung, sending poor Ari to the ground again, with the sword vibrating in his hands.

His mom called to him from the top of the steps. "Ari, what are you doing down there? Hurry up and come finish your supper." He didn't answer. Ari never answers.

He walked up stairs thinking, "I hate this room. I hate that bottle. I never wanted to have to fight against a jar, or urn, or bottle again." As he turned the knob of the basement door, his train of thought changed. "I'm a looser, an idiot, a wuss and a klutz. Marlene is beautiful. I don't deserver her, and she knows it." He sighed.

When Ari got back to the dinning room, Marlene and his mother were at the table waiting for him. He cleaned the milk up with the towel and started to head upstairs to his room. His mom stopped him and said, "Ari, don't you want your diner?" He turned around. "Um…I'm not hungry."

His mother started to lecture him, as mothers often do. "But just an hour ago you complained that you were hungry enough to eat ice-cold mashed potatoes. What's wrong with you? I never have a problem with your sister. Go eat. I'm sure you haven't been eating well on your journey, and Marlene worked very hard to cook for us. It's the first meal she ever made. Are you going to let her feel bad? God only knows what that nice girl has been through, but it's clear she's had a tough life, so go make your guest feel welcome." She was going to go on, but she was slightly out of breath. Ari sighed, again. He mumbled. "Yes mom."

Ari sat down at the table alone and looked down at the disgusting, and now cold, meal that Marlene had prepared. "Cold mashed potatoes are one thing, but…this…," he thought. He poked his food and muttered, "I'd rather eat roast half cooked yeti covered with slices of man eating onions…or maybe that's what this stuff is."

He heard the sound of a foot tapping from behind him. He turned his head, and it was Marlene. She slapped him across the face. Ari fell off of chair and she stormed off. "What happened to the good girl act?"

His mother came over to him and yelled, well, kind of yelled, she never really yells. "That's it Ari. Leave this house tonight and come back when you're ready to behave. Your father just got home and brought a gray haired man with him, who was interested in seeing the bottle, but when he went into the basement it was a mess and the bottle was all banged up." Ari bowed his head and walked outside, dragging his feet.

"The day I get home I get kicked out…" He sat down on the steps outside his house. It was festival time, but Ari was just too ant-social for a festival, especially without Stan, the only thing that made him cool. And the last thing he wanted was to run into Julia, the snobby wench that was under the impression he was in love with her.

The sky suddenly turned gray and saturated clouds. It started pouring harder than Ari ever remembered. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned his face in his hands. Surprisingly, he didn't sigh. A loud "mwa ha ha ha" can from behind a tree.


	2. Epros and the Personal Ads

Chapter 2: **Epros**** and the personal ads**

Epros stood in the middle of the field between Tenel and Madril. He took a deep breath and said, "Ah, alone again at long last! My previous moment of solitude has long since passed. I'm ever so delighted that I finally got the perky little lass off my ass, but alas." He sighed and continued. "I am no longer an evil king, an evil being, and what I have not seen of the world is not worth seeing. So now that I'm on my own, what's my purpose, my raison d'etre, my reason of being?"

He started pacing, well, floating around, thinking, "What is it that I need? What shall be my next deed? I tried to join the circus, but because of that anorexic broad I did not succeed. Perhaps solitude is all I could ever need, and wanting anything more is just greed. Alas, I wish I could find some kind of sign to heed."

A piece of paper tumbled across the ground in the wind, coming from the direction of Tenel. It caught Epros's eye, and he said aloud to himself, "Hark, what might this be? Could this be the sign that I asked to be sent to me?" He looked at the paper, and it turned out to be a page from the Tenel Times Newspaper, the personal ads.

He looked at the paper and went into deep thought. After a moment he said, "Yes, a mate is what I need, though it's been several millennia since I've been on a date indeed." He moved his finger around on the paper and continued his speech, "Now, which person shall it be that I chose to be the one for me?"

He read the ads and the one that got his attention read, "I await you, a powerful and mysterious man, sensitive and cold, slightly evil, yet caring. He should be strong, colorful, queer, and daring. I will wait here forever, overshadowed under a cloud of gray, for my night and shining armor to come a rescue me and save me from the depressing existence I live day by day. ---The loner in the crowd –age 16" The address was listed bellow, and no gender was specified.

Epros started to journey toward Tenel town. He enjoyed randomly slaughtering many Chicken-Chickens on the way, and came across the circus tent just outside of town. The place was usually a ghost tent, but it was in use for the festival.

He paused. His eyes opened wide, and then turned into little slits glowing piercing red, due to the horror that he saw. He started to sweat beads of purple eye shadow. "Anything but that," he thought. A screechy, annoying, stick-like strawberry blonde girl with a microphone, none other than Linda, ran up to him.

Epros ran, well floated, as the whinny little desperate horned and horny pop singer chased yelling, "Why-did-you-transport-me-back-to-Madril-then-leave-me-and-go-off-on-your-own?-I-like-came-back-to-this-totally-filthy-circus-place-looking-for-you!-Omigod-Omigawd!-I-just-hate-being-alone!-It's-like-sooo-scary!!!"

She was shouting too fast for Epros to understand a word she said, but words like "omigawd," and "totally," weren't in his vocabulary anyway, and he was too busy trying to get away to even try to listen to what she was jabbering on about. He was thinking, "Whoa is me! My luck is too bad to be! I'd rather encounter anything else, since a broken rib is more pleasant than she! I fear she may attempt to brainwash me, but I can not let that be."

It started to rain, and somehow, by the time he reached the fork in the road he had lost her. He looked at the address and it turned out to be the house singled out from the rest if the town, on the right side of the fork. He headed up the spiral stairs and saw a boy sitting on the steps in front of the front door.

He moved a little bit closer, but the boy didn't even see him because he was sitting with his face in his hands. Then Epros noticed who it was. "You!?" he screamed. The boy looked up. "What the…?"

Epros looked at him strangely and said, "Your sense of humor is one I don't like. I'll leave. I'm taking a hike." Ari blinked. "…What's going on?" Ari heard the evil laugh again. Epros heard it too.

Stan came out from behind the tree, still laughing. Both Ari and Epros were confused. Epros spoke up, but of course, Ari didn't. "You, shadow evil king, this prank is of your doing?"

Stan finally finished laughing, but he didn't answer. Ari finally said something, "…I'm still lost." Epros handed him the personal ad. Ari read it to himself.

By the time Ari reached the end, he screamed out loud, "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Epros walked up to Stan, stood with his left hand on his hip, pointed with his right hand and said, "Some great evil king thou art! Playing such childish pranks makes thou more shameful than Wal-Mart!"

Stan started yelling and thrashing around. "WHAT KIND OF INSULT WAS THAT!? YOU QUEER LOVER OF SHAKESPEARE! YOU MAKE-UP WEARING, GAY, GIRLY MAN THAT DRESSES UP TO LOOK LIKE A CLOWN BORN UNDER THE HOMO RAINBOW!"

Ari sighed.


	3. Sigher Breath in Love and War

Chapter 3: **Sigher**** Breath in Love and War**

Rosalyn jumped up from the bushes and blurted out in a powerful tone, "you're a moronic, pathetic, immature, poor excuse for an evil king and now that you're no longer living as Ari's shadow like a coward, I will not hesitate to demolish you!" Ari, Stan, and Erpos looked at her. Stan laughed. "Just come over here and try it hideous woman!"

The rain stopped.

Rosalyn drew her rapier, ran up to Stan, and swung her sword at him, but it had no effect. Stan laughed again. His laugh was counteracted by Rosalyn's voice, "CHARGED PARASOL!" She attacked him with her spell, but Stan still remained unharmed. "You can't injure a shadow," Stan said, and continued to laugh as Rosalyn ignorantly gave it her all with great determination.

Epros and Ari had been quietly observing. Epros whispered, "Art thou not going do something about this?" Ari answered, "I'm enjoying it." After a moment he thought, "Why don't you do something if you want them to stop so bad, wuss," but of course, he said nothing.

Stan spoke with confidence. "You're through, weak, brainless hero! CRUSHING DEVIL!" He flopped back and slammed his shadowy head through Rosalyn. She fell to the ground. Ari ran up to her.

Stan turned away from them and worshipped his own power. While he went on babbling to himself about conquering the world and making lowly human filth fear and obey him, Rosalyn got up completely unscratched.

Rosalyn turned her back to Stan and began to talk to herself. "Why didn't his attack do anything at all? Of course, I expected it to be inferior to my own, but since he has the power of an evil king, such a feeble attack is quite puzzling."

Stan didn't even notice Rosalyn had risen to her feet. He continued to marvel at his own greatness until he realized something that had been overlooked. "Once I regain my power and return to my true form…wait, I've already regained my power. Why aren't I in my true form1? I should have gone back to it after I defeated Beloune and left the boy's body."

Meanwhile, Rosalyn was still thinking out loud. "Maybe, just as I couldn't harm him because he's a shadow, he couldn't do any harm as a shadow without a host, but WHY is he still a shadow? Shouldn't he be in his true form?"

The clashing monologues were interrupted by Marlene's voice. She had been standing in the main doorway for a while, but no one noticed her. "This has carried on long enough. The power of the great hero and the great evil king doesn't exist anymore."

Stan and Rosalyn quickly turned in her direction and screamed in unison, "WHAT!?" They both held their breath for a moment. Everyone concentrated on Marlene.

Rosalyn spoke under her breath, "I should have known."

Marlene walked onto the stoop and down the steps. She stood in front of the lowest step, and drifted off into her own little world as she gave a speech. "My father created the classification based world with me in mind. He thought so strongly I deserved to be a princess that he made me one. You destroyed the power of classification and now I'm not lost anymore. I thank you for that, but my father is gone." She started to cry. "All he ever did was love me enough to go to extreme measures for my sake. Without the power of classification, you, Rosalyn can't be classified as a hero anymore, and you, Stan, can't classified as an evil king. So please stop fighting" She ran up the stairs and into the house. The door closed behind her.

Ari wanted to follow her and comfort her, but he just walked up to the steps and stood there. There was silence until Stan said, "That's a lie! I am evil king and no 'classification' can change that!" Rosalyn was disgusted. "How could you be so insensitive!?" She stormed inside. Ari walked in after her, followed by Epros. After a few minutes Stan crept in under the door.

There was a crowd in the hallway in front of the bedroom that Marlene was staying in. Stan slipped behind everyone and stood against the wall across from the room. The door was open. Marlene was sitting on the floor leaning over the bed with her head buried in her crossed arms. Ari and his mom stood directly in front of the entrance. Rosalyn, Epros, Kissling, and Ari's dad were crowded behind them.

Ari's mother glared at him persuasively. He took a deep breath, took a few steps into the room, and started to say something. "…Marlene…I um…" Marlene didn't move. Ari's mom spoke up for him, "Marlene, honey, Ari is trying to talk to you."

Marlene stood and faced Ari. Her hands where folded in front of her thighs and her head was bowed.

Stan was getting impatient. "What are you doing slave??" He called Ari "slave" out of habit (it's not like Stan would ever call him by his name). "You'll never get anything accomplished that way!" He moved through the crowd and pushed Ari into Marlene.

He ended up on the bed, on top of her with his hand on her breast (evangelion moment). Once he realized where his hand was he moved it away, pulled himself off of her, and sat next to her on the edge of the bed. He was blushing.

Marlene said, "Well, I was about to forgive you for the diner incident. I was being a bit unreasonable, not being a very experienced cook and all, but now I'm not so sure if I can forgive you." Ari was a little nervous. Somehow he worked up the courage to grab her shoulder, turn her body towards him, and kiss her.

Ari had never kissed anyone before. Heck, he'd never even hugged anyone other than his own mother before, but he had spent enough time at home with his mom while she was watching her little chick-flicks to pick up on the concept a bit.

She pulled away, and held him back by pressing her palm against his shoulder. She mumbled, "How dare you do such a thing while I'm so vulnerable?" Ari felt stupid and embarrassed. He sighed. Marlene hugged him and whispered, "thank you."

**Ari's**** mom:** Aw, aren't they cute?

**Rosalyn:** smiles

**Epros** blank stare

**Ari's**** dad:** That should shut 'er up, huh?

**Kissling** I would have done a bit more with such a lovely lady, personally.

**Stan:** Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick!


	4. pop star eye for the questionable guy

Chapter 4: **Pop star eye for the questionable guy**

The 'love fest' was interrupted by a high pitched voice yelling 'epi-chan!' just outside the house. Ari raced to the window and saw Linda. "Just great," he thought.

There was fear in Epros's eyes, as he said, "How did she find me? This cannot be. Hide me, I beg thee!" Stan chuckled. "ha ha ha. Are you scared of that little girl?" Epros glared at him. "Dost thou know not, if she cannot find me, her target will be thee?" Stan hesitated. "I am the great evil king! I fear no one!" Marlene sighed and thought, "Could he get anymore thick headed?" Ari's Dad directed Epros to the basement.

The front door burst open, and Linda came skipping in. "Hello everyone! Oo, are you having a party?" She paused, "I was sure I heard Epi's voice in here just a moment ago." Then she looked around and saw good-old shadowy Stan. "Stan!" she yelled. She ran up to him and squeezed him.

Stan squirmed and tried to push her away. "Ack get off of me!" She didn't move. "The basement! He's in the basement!" Linda squealed and ran to the basement.

She ran down the stairs, barging in. Epros started sweating, and he stood there stiff. Linda grabbed his arm and dragged him upstairs.

"Wouldn't Epi-chan look so much better if he didn't dress like such a silly-billy?" she said. There was no response. "I know! I can give him a make-over. Hehe. This will be fun. Come on Epi." Everyone starred blankly. No one objected, since they all secretly wanted to see the outcome.

"Ari, do you mind if we borrow your room for a bit?"

"uh…yes?" He answered.

"Thank ya sow much!"

Ari wondered if she was even listening for an answer. Epros could only utter, "alas." Thus the make-over madness began.

Linda dragged Epros into Ari's room, Ari, Stan, Marlene, and Roslyn followed.

Linda went through Ari's closet. All he had was tan pants, blue stripped shirts, and vests. She said, "These clothes won't do! They're all nerdy!" Then she began to go through a draw. Ari looked nervous, "uh…"

Linda dug through the draw, throwing his socks, head bands, and gloves over her shoulder, until she came across a folded piece of paper. "hm, what's this?" She unfolded it, looked at it, and then quickly put it on the ground face down. This made the other curious. Roslyn picked it up and held it so they could all see it. Ari's cheeks turned very red. It was a poorly drawn sketch a naked woman wearing strange head gear holding parasol. It said "Rosy-chan," with an arrow.

Ari was slapped by both Roslyn and Marlene, one slap on each cheek. His cheeks became even redder. He was in a lot of pain.

"Well, we can't make epi-chan over using any of _these_ clothes," Linda said. Epros sighed in relief, and Linda continued, "but don't worry. I have an idea. Be right backies, hehe." Linda left the room, and returned 7 minutes later, wearing one of Ari's mother's dress. She was carrying her dress, a pair of high heel shoes, and a large cosmetics case.

Epros ended up in Linda's dress and the high heel shoes, with blush, sparkly pink lip gloss, pink eye shadow, pink nail polish, and pink bows in his hair.

"Your new look looks so cute with your adorable blonde hair!" Linda squealed. Everyone else laughed and pointed for quite some time.

Next Chapter: Chapter 5:** The lords of the bottle**


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